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Saturday, December 12, 2009
Die Räuber
Wetterbedingt bisher nur Indoor-Fotos gemacht. Dieses mit Raw Therapee bearbeitet und nach JPEG gewandelt - Image Data Converter SR produziert sehr seltsame JPEGs.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Monday, March 12, 2007
Monty Python's Lord Of The Rings
Bridge Keeper: Stop! He who wishes to cross the Bridge of Khazad-Dum must answer me these questions three ere the other side he see.
Gandalf: Ask the questions! I am not afraid!
BK: What is your name?
Gandalf: Gandalf!
BK: What is your quest?
Gandalf: The overthrow of Sauron
BK: What is your favorite color?
Gandalf: Grey! No, White! Ahhhhhhh! (He is thrown into the Pits of Moria with a Balrog.)
Gandalf: Ask the questions! I am not afraid!
BK: What is your name?
Gandalf: Gandalf!
BK: What is your quest?
Gandalf: The overthrow of Sauron
BK: What is your favorite color?
Gandalf: Grey! No, White! Ahhhhhhh! (He is thrown into the Pits of Moria with a Balrog.)
The Lord of the Matrix
Orc lieutenant: I dispatched a band of Uruk-hai. Eastward across the plain. They're bringing the hobbits back now.
Saruman: No, lieutenant, your orcs are already dead.
Bilbo: Have you ever had that feeling, Gandalf? Where you’re not quite sure if you’re just spread out like butter over too much bread?
Gandalf: Yeah, all the time. It's called Ring-bearing. It's the only way to fly. Hey it sounds to me like you just need to unplug man, you know? Get some R&R?
Aragorn: [on a cell phone, calling from the other side of the Pracing Pony] Do you know who this is?
Frodo: Strider.
Aragorn: Yes. I've been looking for you, Frodo, but unfortunately you and I have run out of time. They're coming for you, Frodo, and I don't know what they're going to do.
Frodo: Who's coming for me?
Aragorn: Stand up and see for yourself.
Frodo: What? Now?
Aragorn: Yes, now. Do it slowly. The elevator.
[Frodo sees 3 Nazgul at the door.]
Frodo: Oh shit!
Aragorn: Yyyyeeeessss.
Aragorn: Ooh, squiddy’s sweeping in quick.
Frodo: Squiddy?
Aragorn: Nazgul, ringwraiths. Killing machines designed for one thing. Search and destroy.
Gandalf: Bilbo? The Bilbo? The one who beat the crap out of that dragon Smaug? Jesus.
Bilbo: What?
Gandalf: I just thought... you were older.
Bilbo: Most wizards do.
Gandalf: Most of my fellowship you already know. This is Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir. The little one behind you is Gimli.
Balrog: The great Gandalf. We meet at last.
Gandalf: And you are?
Balrog: A Balrog. Agent Balrog.
Gandalf: You all look the same to me!
Galadriel: I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the mirror.
Frodo: What mirror? [Frodo knocks Galadriel's mirror off its table, spilling water everywhere.]
Galadriel: That mirror.
Boromir: Not like this. Not like this.
Saruman: Have you ever stood and stared at it, Gandalf? Marveled at its beauty? Its genius? ... Evolution, Gandalf. Evolution. Like the Ent-wives.
Gimli: So what do you need? Besides a miracle.
Legolas: Arrows. Lots of arrows.
Saruman: No, lieutenant, your orcs are already dead.
Bilbo: Have you ever had that feeling, Gandalf? Where you’re not quite sure if you’re just spread out like butter over too much bread?
Gandalf: Yeah, all the time. It's called Ring-bearing. It's the only way to fly. Hey it sounds to me like you just need to unplug man, you know? Get some R&R?
Aragorn: [on a cell phone, calling from the other side of the Pracing Pony] Do you know who this is?
Frodo: Strider.
Aragorn: Yes. I've been looking for you, Frodo, but unfortunately you and I have run out of time. They're coming for you, Frodo, and I don't know what they're going to do.
Frodo: Who's coming for me?
Aragorn: Stand up and see for yourself.
Frodo: What? Now?
Aragorn: Yes, now. Do it slowly. The elevator.
[Frodo sees 3 Nazgul at the door.]
Frodo: Oh shit!
Aragorn: Yyyyeeeessss.
Aragorn: Ooh, squiddy’s sweeping in quick.
Frodo: Squiddy?
Aragorn: Nazgul, ringwraiths. Killing machines designed for one thing. Search and destroy.
Gandalf: Bilbo? The Bilbo? The one who beat the crap out of that dragon Smaug? Jesus.
Bilbo: What?
Gandalf: I just thought... you were older.
Bilbo: Most wizards do.
Gandalf: Most of my fellowship you already know. This is Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir. The little one behind you is Gimli.
Balrog: The great Gandalf. We meet at last.
Gandalf: And you are?
Balrog: A Balrog. Agent Balrog.
Gandalf: You all look the same to me!
Galadriel: I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the mirror.
Frodo: What mirror? [Frodo knocks Galadriel's mirror off its table, spilling water everywhere.]
Galadriel: That mirror.
Boromir: Not like this. Not like this.
Saruman: Have you ever stood and stared at it, Gandalf? Marveled at its beauty? Its genius? ... Evolution, Gandalf. Evolution. Like the Ent-wives.
Gimli: So what do you need? Besides a miracle.
Legolas: Arrows. Lots of arrows.
Ringballs: The Movie!
In a section of Earth very, very, very near the middle…
Uruk-hai: Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink....
Dark Sauron: [pulls off his eye] I can't see in this thing!
Dark Sauron: Who made that man an archer?
Archer: I did sir! He’s my cousin.
Dark Sauron: Who is he?
Col. Sarumanz: He’s a dork, sir.
Dark Sauron: I know that! What’s his name?
Col. Sarumanz: That is his name. Major de Orc.
Dark Sauron: And his cousin?
Col. Sarumanz: He’s a de Orc too, sir. Archer’s mate, first class, Philip de Orc.
Dark Sauron: How many dorks we got in this tower, anyhow?
[Orcs shout “Yo!”]
Dark Sauron: I knew it! I’m surrounded by dorks! Keep firing dorks!
Nazgul 1: What happened, where'd the she-elf go?
Nazgul 2: I don't know sir, she must have secret hyperjets on that horse!
Nazgul 1: What do we have on this thing, a cuisinart?
Elrond: Ok Frodo, welcome to real life. You want this Ring of Power? You carry it!
Frodo: Pick that up!
Elrond: YOU pick that up!
Dark Sauron: Now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch my radar. Where is it?
Col. Sarumanz: Here it is sir, Mr. Palantir.
Col Sarumanz: I have an idea! Orc! Get me a copy of Two Towers the movie!
Sauron: Have you found anything yet?
Nazgul: We ain't found shit!
Forget the Ring! The Ring is bupkiss. I found it in a cracker jack box. The Gollum is in you, Lone Frrodo! It's in you!
DARK SAURON: (imitating Frodo) No. No, please, leave
me alone. (mask down voice) No you are mine. (imitating Samwise) Not so fast, SAURON. (mask down voice) Samwise. (imitating Samwise) Yes, it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey. (mask down voice) Now you are going to die. (imitating Samwise) Oh, oh, ohhhh. (imitating Aragorn) Hey, what did you do to my friend? (mask down voice) The same thing I'm going to do to you, big boy. (imitating Gimli) Oh, ohhh. (mask down voice) And you too. (imitating Legolas) Oh, ohh. (mask down voice) Now, Princess Frodo, at last we are alone. (imitating Frodo) No, no, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Leave me alone....yet, I find you strangely attractive. (mask down voice) Of course you do. Hobbit princesses are always attracted to money and power. And I have both, and you know it. (imitating Frodo) No, leave me alone. (mask down voice) No, kiss me. (imitating Frodo) No,
yes, no, yes, yes, no, no, ah, oh, oh, oh, ah, ohh, oh, you're eye is
so big.
Forget the Ring! The Ring is bupkiss. I found it in a cracker jack box. The Gollum is in you, Lone Frrodo! It's in you!
If you can read this, you don't speak Elvish.
Uruk-hai: Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink....
Dark Sauron: [pulls off his eye] I can't see in this thing!
Dark Sauron: Who made that man an archer?
Archer: I did sir! He’s my cousin.
Dark Sauron: Who is he?
Col. Sarumanz: He’s a dork, sir.
Dark Sauron: I know that! What’s his name?
Col. Sarumanz: That is his name. Major de Orc.
Dark Sauron: And his cousin?
Col. Sarumanz: He’s a de Orc too, sir. Archer’s mate, first class, Philip de Orc.
Dark Sauron: How many dorks we got in this tower, anyhow?
[Orcs shout “Yo!”]
Dark Sauron: I knew it! I’m surrounded by dorks! Keep firing dorks!
Nazgul 1: What happened, where'd the she-elf go?
Nazgul 2: I don't know sir, she must have secret hyperjets on that horse!
Nazgul 1: What do we have on this thing, a cuisinart?
Elrond: Ok Frodo, welcome to real life. You want this Ring of Power? You carry it!
Frodo: Pick that up!
Elrond: YOU pick that up!
Dark Sauron: Now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch my radar. Where is it?
Col. Sarumanz: Here it is sir, Mr. Palantir.
Col Sarumanz: I have an idea! Orc! Get me a copy of Two Towers the movie!
Sauron: Have you found anything yet?
Nazgul: We ain't found shit!
Forget the Ring! The Ring is bupkiss. I found it in a cracker jack box. The Gollum is in you, Lone Frrodo! It's in you!
DARK SAURON: (imitating Frodo) No. No, please, leave
me alone. (mask down voice) No you are mine. (imitating Samwise) Not so fast, SAURON. (mask down voice) Samwise. (imitating Samwise) Yes, it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey. (mask down voice) Now you are going to die. (imitating Samwise) Oh, oh, ohhhh. (imitating Aragorn) Hey, what did you do to my friend? (mask down voice) The same thing I'm going to do to you, big boy. (imitating Gimli) Oh, ohhh. (mask down voice) And you too. (imitating Legolas) Oh, ohh. (mask down voice) Now, Princess Frodo, at last we are alone. (imitating Frodo) No, no, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Leave me alone....yet, I find you strangely attractive. (mask down voice) Of course you do. Hobbit princesses are always attracted to money and power. And I have both, and you know it. (imitating Frodo) No, leave me alone. (mask down voice) No, kiss me. (imitating Frodo) No,
yes, no, yes, yes, no, no, ah, oh, oh, oh, ah, ohh, oh, you're eye is
so big.
Forget the Ring! The Ring is bupkiss. I found it in a cracker jack box. The Gollum is in you, Lone Frrodo! It's in you!
If you can read this, you don't speak Elvish.
Goehte: Der Ring der Energie (The Ring of Power)
Who rides so late through night and gloom?
It's three hobbits, in search of Mt. Doom
One holds the One Ring tight in his arms
He clasps it snugly to keep it from harm.
"Frodo, why hide you your face with such fear?"
"Can't you see the Nazgul, Sam? Merry? They're near!
The nine riding Nazgul with swords and black hoods!"
"Frodo, it's just shadows deep in the woods."
'Come back! Come back! To Mordor we'll take you.
Wherever you run, we shall follow too;
You've something of Saurons and he wants it back,
So give us the One Ring or we shall attack.'
"Aragorn, Aragorn and can you not hear
the Nazgul, whose threats fill me with such fear?"
"Calm down, Frodo. Wounds have made you not well.
I hear only the wind as we near Rivendell."
'Give back my preciousss, it belongs to me
It was stolen by another Hobbit, you see.
This journey is madness, it's only a ring.
Instead, just destroy that glowing sword, Sting.'
"Samwise, Samwise can you not see,
the visage of Gollum, who stands before me?"
"My Frodo, my Frodo, I see it just fine.
It's not Gollum, but a forest of pine."
'I want you, your cleverness charms me, of course.
If you'll not relent, then I'll take it by force."
"Boromir, Boromir, you're hurting my arm.
I must slip on the ring to vanish from harm."
The fellowship struggles, they come with great speed,
The horn of Gondor sounded and they must take heed.
They rush to their fallen companion with dread,-
The stuart of Gondor, Boromir, was dead.
It's three hobbits, in search of Mt. Doom
One holds the One Ring tight in his arms
He clasps it snugly to keep it from harm.
"Frodo, why hide you your face with such fear?"
"Can't you see the Nazgul, Sam? Merry? They're near!
The nine riding Nazgul with swords and black hoods!"
"Frodo, it's just shadows deep in the woods."
'Come back! Come back! To Mordor we'll take you.
Wherever you run, we shall follow too;
You've something of Saurons and he wants it back,
So give us the One Ring or we shall attack.'
"Aragorn, Aragorn and can you not hear
the Nazgul, whose threats fill me with such fear?"
"Calm down, Frodo. Wounds have made you not well.
I hear only the wind as we near Rivendell."
'Give back my preciousss, it belongs to me
It was stolen by another Hobbit, you see.
This journey is madness, it's only a ring.
Instead, just destroy that glowing sword, Sting.'
"Samwise, Samwise can you not see,
the visage of Gollum, who stands before me?"
"My Frodo, my Frodo, I see it just fine.
It's not Gollum, but a forest of pine."
'I want you, your cleverness charms me, of course.
If you'll not relent, then I'll take it by force."
"Boromir, Boromir, you're hurting my arm.
I must slip on the ring to vanish from harm."
The fellowship struggles, they come with great speed,
The horn of Gondor sounded and they must take heed.
They rush to their fallen companion with dread,-
The stuart of Gondor, Boromir, was dead.
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