Yet another scene from Pulp Fellowship

At the banks of the Great River, ANDUIN. BOROMIR has just tried to take THE ONE RING from FRODO. FRODO slips on the RING and escapes. LEGOLAS with ARAGORN and GIMLI confront BOROMIR. FRODO has slipped off the RING and stands nearby . . .

LEGOLAS: How you boys doin'? (No answer)

LEGOLAS (to Boromir): Am I trippin', or did I just ask you a question.

BOROMIR: We're doin' okay.

LEGOLAS: Do you know who we are?
Boromir shakes his head: "No."

LEGOLAS: We're associates of your business partner Elrond Halfelven. You remember your business partner dont'ya?

BOROMIR: I remember him.

LEGOLAS: Good for you. Looks like me and Aragorn caught you at breakfast, sorry 'bout that. What'cha eatin'?

BOROMIR: Lembas.

LEGOLAS: Lembas. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kinda Lembas?

BOROMIR: Waybread.

LEGOLAS: No, I mean where did you get'em? Rivendell, Mirkwood, where?

BOROMIR: Lothlorien.

LEGOLAS: Lothlorien. That's that joint where the Lady Galadriel lives. I heard they got some tasty lembas. I ain't never had any myself, how are they?

BOROMIR: They're good.

LEGOLAS: Mind if I try one of yours?

BOROMIR: No.

Legolas grabs the lembas and takes a bite of it.

LEGOLAS: Uuummmm, that's tasty lembas.
(to Aragorn): Strider, you ever try lembas from Lothlorien?

ARAGORN: No.

Legolas holds out the lembas.

LEGOLAS: You wanna bite, it's real good.

ARAGORN: I ain't hungry.

LEGOLAS: Well, if you like lembas give 'em a try sometime.
(to Boromir): You know what the Dale-men call lembas?

BOROMIR: Cram?

LEGOLAS: Check out the big brain on Boromir. You'a smart motherf***er, that's right.
Boromir, you know what we're here for?
Boromir nods his head: "Yes."

LEGOLAS: Then why don't you tell my boy here Strider, where you got the s**t hid.

GIMLI: Frodo took it --

LEOGOLAS: I don't remember askin' you a goddamn thing.

Cut to Frodo, seen from behind. We can't see what he's holding up on a chain, but a small gold glow shines on him. Frodo just stares at it, transfixed.

LEGOLAS: We happy? (No answer from the transfixed Frodo.)

LEGOLAS: Frodo! (Frodo looks up at Legolas.)

LEGOLAS: We happy?

FRODO: We're happy

BOROMIR (to Legolas): I just want you to know how sorry we are about how f***ed up things got between me and Elrond by my trying to take the Ring to Minas Tirith. When we entered into this thing, I only had the best intentions --

As Boromir talks, Legolas takes out his bow and loads it with an arrow from his quiver. Boromir has just s**t his pants. He's not crying or whimpering, but he's so full of fear, it's as if his body is imploding.

LEGOLAS (to Boromir): Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. I believe you were saying something about "best intentions." (Boromir can't say a word.)

LEGOLAS: Whatsamatter? Oh, you were through anyway. Well, let me retort. Would you describe for me what Elrond Halfelven looks like? (Boromir still can't speak.)

Legolas SNAPS, SAVAGELY KNOCKING Boromir to the ground. Boromir now sits on the gound like a political prisoner in front of an interrogator.

LEGOLAS: What country you from!

BOROMIR (petrified): What?

LEGOLAS: "What" ain't no country I know! Do they speak Elvish in "What?"

BOROMIR (near heart attack): What?

LEGOLAS: Elvish-motherf***er-can-you-speak- it?

BOROMIR: Yes.

LEGOLAS: Then you understand what I'm sayin'?

BOROMIR: Yes.

LEGOLAS: Now describe what Elrond Halfelven looks like!

BOROMIR (out of fear): What?

Legolas takes his bow and PRESSES the tip of the arrow HARD in Boromir's cheek.

LEGOLAS: Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What" again! I dare ya, I double dare ya motherf***er, say "What" one more goddamn time!
Now describe to me what Elrond Halfelven looks like!

BOROMIR: Well he's ...he's...an elf --

LEGOLAS: -- go on!

BOROMIR: ...and he...he...wears a headband --

LEGOLAS: -- does he look like a dwarf?!

BOROMIR (without thinking): What?

Legolas rolls his eyes and SHOOTS Boromir in the shoulder. Boromir SCREAMS, breaking into a SHAKING/TREMBLING SPASM.

LEGOLAS: Does-he-look-like-a-dwarf?!

BOROMIR (in agony): No.

LEGOLAS: Then why did you try to toss 'im like a dwarf?!

BOROMIR (in spasm): I didn't.

Now in a lower voice. LEGOLAS: Yes ya did Boromir. Ya tried ta toss 'im by taking the Ring from Frodo. You ever read Elven-lore, Boromir?

BOROMIR (in spasm): Yes.

LEGOLAS: There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."

Legolas empties his quiver of arrows into Boromir. Aragorn plunges Anduril into Boromir. When they are finished, the massacred carcass just sits there for a moment, then TOPPLES over. All is quiet.